(This FAQ isn’t against love or commitment—it’s against confusing a contract with either. It assumes you’re intelligent, capable, and responsible. No appeals to law or tradition here—just the individual and their choices.)
Here’s something I’ve been noodling on: what if marriage is that subscription you never asked for? This FAQ is my attempt at hacking love’s fine print.
Personal Stability
Q1: Isn’t marriage necessary for stability?
A: Stability comes from you, not from a contract. Serial monogamy lets you stand firm as an individual while choosing connection freely.
Q2: Doesn’t marriage force people to stay and work through problems?
A: If you’re smart and want to fix things, you will—just like in careers or friendships. We already have lifelong friends without marriage contracts. Forcing “growth” through obligation often just breeds resentment, not maturity.
Knowledge & Depth
Q3: Doesn’t marriage give you the chance to truly “know” each other?
A: Knowing someone completely is a myth. Everyone keeps things inside. And predicting someone’s behavior isn’t love—otherwise you’d love your employees. Serial monogamy doesn’t confuse predictability with intimacy.
Q4: Doesn’t shared history make the relationship deeper?
A: Not really. If you start dating at 30, they didn’t see most of your life. If you grew together too young, your individuality never bloomed. Plus, we evolve daily—so yesterday’s “deep knowledge” is today’s obsolete data. Serial monogamy values the present, not a ledger of years.
Practical Life
Q5: What about children—don’t they need marriage for stability?
A: Co-parenting doesn’t require marriage. Many divorced parents make it work. If both people are capable and responsible, kids don’t need a marriage license to thrive.
Q6: Isn’t marriage practical for finances and logistics?
A: At best, marriage gives you small bureaucratic perks. But it creates long-term traps: separation battles, financial penalties, and hostage situations. It frontloads tiny conveniences while backloading huge costs. Serial monogamy deals with people, not paperwork.
Q7: Doesn’t serial monogamy waste emotional investment, while marriage compounds it?
A: Resets are valuable—they push us to grow. Uncertainty fuels development, while guaranteed bonds can breed complacency. Marriage doesn’t build compounding growth—it just delays the reset that serial monogamy embraces upfront.
Companionship & Longevity
Q8: What about companionship in old age?
A: If you’re valuable, people will be around you. If you’re scared you’re not valuable, you’ll cling to someone out of insecurity. Serial monogamy rests on value, not fear.
Q9: But some marriages thrive until death.
A: That’s just long serial monogamy where the next cycle didn’t start before death. And when one partner dies, the other may seek a new partner anyway—that’s still serial monogamy.
Q10: Aren’t humans evolved for lifelong pair-bonding?
A: The design of seeking lifelong commitment is good—it adds weight and makes choices meaningful. We should approach relationships with that spirit, but with the back-burner awareness that things can end. Marriage adds penalties for betting wrong—a neurotic layer on a natural instinct.
Symbolism & Society
Q11: Isn’t marriage the ultimate symbol of commitment?
A: If that were true, divorce wouldn’t exist. Marriage isn’t a magical blood bond—it’s a contract people exit every day. Serial monogamy doesn’t pretend otherwise.
Q12: Doesn’t marriage still carry social respectability?
A: Social norms are shifting fast. In China, marriage rates have halved in a decade, dropping another 20% in 2024 as urban, educated people opt out. The U.S. is in a “relationship recession,” with fewer young adults dating or partnering at all. Gen Z still values love, but increasingly sees marriage as a dated, burdensome institution unless it fits with personal freedom. Serial monogamy isn’t fringe—it’s fast becoming the default cultural setting.
Closing Note
Serial monogamy is about cycles of real connection without clinging to illusions of permanence. It lets individuals stay individuals—stable, valuable, and free to love without needing a contract to hold it together.
Serial monogamy: less paperwork, more people-work.